For a while I’ve dreamt about what it would look like to share the thoughts that run through my head every day as I drive around Houston. I started saving my Snapchat videos and recording voice memos into my phone. This is what emerged. The Houston Diaries: a series of videos showing you a little glimpse into my heart and mind. The lessons I’m learning, the pain I’m processing, the grace I’m experiencing – I want to channel it into a couple short videos that hopefully make you feel less alone.
Part 1 is for the heartbroken.
I almost wept the other day on the phone with my friend Aly trying to fit the contents of my heart into coherent sentences. Explaining in words what it felt like to have my heart broken almost made my heart break again. Heartbreak is the backpack full of bricks you pick up every morning, fully expecting to pack and repack again and again throughout the day for absolutely no reason at all. It’s the memory that hits you out of nowhere and renders you breathless. Worse than anything, it’s the fear that you’re not worth it and you never were. And somehow, heartbreak is like guilt – you feel bad if you don’t think about it for 24 hours. When you’re alone the loneliest thoughts settle in.
That’s the heart behind this video.
Being alone is hard, but here’s the thing: wherever you are, it’s where you’re meant to be.
And I’m meant to be here. In Houston.
Thanks for joining me on this journey.