Full Heart, Wide Eyes

Where did I leave off with my last post?

My life has being moving forward so quickly and time flicks by my wide eyes far too fast for me to appreciate. The past few weeks have been absolutely incredible – this roller coaster of crazy good emotions and this streak of beautiful, perfect days isn’t looking to slow down anytime soon. We’re expecting sunny days in the days to come (at least in my mind – today’s weather is absolutely dreary).

This past weekend was a blessing in itself because of the wonderful, brief, but worthwhile Fall Break. Fall Break is a brief escape from the rigors of class work here at Cedarville – a hailed, appreciated two days, a Thursday and a Friday, completely devoid of classes. I literally made a list of things I wanted to do while at home, mostly things I couldn’t do while I was here at Cedarville. Here’s that list:

1.Watch an old school rom-com and eat coffee ice cream.

2.Celebrate Mom’s birthday well

3.Get pumpkins and ride a hayride

4.Shop at Goodwill

5.Read Old Testament chapters

6.Paint my nails


8.Write letters

9. Read Hawthorne

So I did a substantial amount of things on my list…I watched “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, a rather odd movie that prompted me to use Wikipedia out of sheer necessity – the plot was horribly confusing!

The ending is what really got me though. I loved when George Peppard said to Audrey Hepburn,“I don’t want to put you in a cage! I want to love you!!”.

That made the whole movie worth it right there – those lines tied the confusing plot together – Audrey Hepburn was the stubborn, unfaithful, passionate girl about as constant as the weather. George Peppard was the faithful, pensive writer who falls more in love with her everyday as he gets to know her. With those lines, those fourteen words, Peppard confessed his love. With those lines, Audrey Hepburn’s walls crumbled. I can only assume they lived happily ever after.

We also celebrated my mom’s birthday this weekend. I got her a classy bracelet to match her classy personality.

I also went to story time on Thursday morning with Elijah, my foster brother. This week it was held in this historic house of one of our town’s pumpkin patches. The lobby of that house is amazing – strange and eclectic decorations fill shelves around the room and cartons filled with gourds labeled 3 for $1 are staggered around the place. It’s so cozy. Elijah, however, wanted nothing to do with story-time, content to sit in my lap and not move for anything. Mom threatened to take him home if he didn’t participate, but somehow he managed to be good enough in her eyes to stay long enough to receive his free gourd. Mom let me get some gourds too…I took them back here to Cedarville and they have found a home on my desk. I’m festive!

This weekend gave me a lot of time to think – mostly within the cozy setting of my room, wearing a huge, comfy sweater from Goodwill. I pondered a variety of subjects, but more importantly, my mind was given an escape from the same old routines of school life.

Right now I’m on the Friday of my week after returning from Fall Break. This week has been great – I used the time I had free to get outside and feel the warm heat of the sun on my face. Yesterday it was 76 degrees. 76 DEGREES IN LATE OCTOBER. It’s good to be Weather Girl when you get to announce temperatures like that. Dom, Carol, Alex, Lexus and I stood on the brick wall lining Cedar Lake, feeling like time had completely paused as the sun shone down, warm against our skin, giving us time to simply delight in life. We sat at a picnic table and played Uno. We enjoyed each other’s company. It was lovely.

This Wednesday I shared my testimony at our unit meeting – basically, I shared my life story with the 15 girls I live with. I wrote it all out beforehand – a whopping four pages – detailing my life right up until this moment. I shared my struggle with depression in middle school, the loss of my grandparents and how those loses exposed me to grief for the first time, and also moments of inexplicable joy – when Christ entered my life, the awesome experience of leading girls at Butler Springs, meeting the janitor at my school, Barb, who went on to become one of my dearest friends.

Right now my brother Kyle is in Washington, D.C. for his 8th grade field trip. D.C.was one of my favorite trips of all time – it was short, a brief three days and three nights – but it was jam-packed with incredible moments. In my memory, our visit to the Holocaust Museum stands out to me as one of those sobering, quite depressing yet completely moments necessary to the human experience. My eyes were opened to the amount of evil the human race is capable of. Visiting the Holocaust Museum should  be a criteria for being human. Kyle keeps sending us pictures throughout the day – he’s already sent us a picture of the Washington Monument, the White House, and the Lincoln Memorial. I want to go back to D.C.

Right now I’m sitting at the desk in my dorm room, lovely Christmas lights lining my wall leaving a warm glow around the room as I type. This environment is very conducive to writing – I just needed inspiration I suppose.

have an awesome day in Christ.

with love,



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