So this week I’ve been derping around, interchangably doing work and doing nothing, trying to motivate myself to do the little bits of homework I have due in the next few days.
This is the first weekend I’ve spent in Cedarville in 2 weeks.
Spending the weekend at Cedarville feels like sleeping in, goofing off, and going to Wal-Mart at ridiculously late times at night.
We made a Wal-Mart run last night at like 10. Natalie and I went up and down the aisles together, grabbing random and cheap foods that looked good and filling our arms up so absurdly full we looked like homeless people. We both were zombies, completely exhuasted so late at night but still intrigued by the wonderous cheapness that is Wal-Mart. At one point I lost Natalie and spun around, trying desperately to find her, yelling “NATALIE!!! NATALIE!!!” across the store and hoping she didn’t get taken by the many creepy guys lurking around. I found her SMELLING CANDLES. She was inhaling ridiculously deeply, eyes closed. I just walked away…
Right now I’m listening to “Seen a Darkness” by John Mark McMillan, chilling at my desk, drinking Sweet Lemon Peace Tea. I am thinking but not of anything in particular. My mind flits to different people, different places, different times, but it always returns to this moment, now.
If you asked me, I would say I’m doing really well. I honestly am. I’m more mature in my faith than I’ve ever been, and I’m daily growing closer and closer to my Savior. I just feel like normally there are so many thoughts bouncing around my head that it feels empty and lonely when I only have one or two. So I guess that’s where I am. I’m in the process of simplifying my life. I always want something dynamic and new to happen, to keep me entertained, to give me an interesting topic of conversation or something to ponder for hours. I don’t have that right now. I’m just living daily, trying to be more like Jesus and love people better. It sounds so simplistic and I guess in my mind it is. I just always crave excitement. I need to go to Nashville for about a week and come back chock full of interesting stories to tell all the people here. I spend all my time running my mouth, so having stories to tell is a valuable asset.
Even now, writing this post, I find myself wishing I was more interesting. Seriously, all I have to tell you is that I made a WAL-MART RUN!!?! Oh, and that I biked 5 miles yesterday with my friends Brian and Jake and almost passed out? I’m not going to expand on that latter story because it is a source of embarassment…I’m aware of the out-of-shape-ness of my body. I’m working on it.
I might share some poetry soon. We’ll see.
anyways, I hope that wherever you are, dear reader, that you know the Rock that sustains my soul. the waves crash, He keeps me intact.
my Jesus never fails me.