What a week?

Well, I never thought this week would arrive. Honestly.

It’s my last week before I leave for Cedarville University. I always knew the day would come when I would pack up all my stuff and move from the house I grew up in, I just didn’t know it would feel like this. It feels weird. It feels final. Cold. Exciting. It feels like I’m falling from a cliff and I have no idea if I’ll die when I hit the ground or if I’ll somehow survive and want to fall again for the sheer fun of it. All my friends are going seperate directions within the next few days. I just ran into my friend Sierra Smith at Walmart tonight – she’s going to Lee University in Tennessee – and she said she’s leaving tomorrow. What is this?

I’m working every day this week, right up until I leave Friday. Every morning I wake up at 9 so I can go to work from 11-2. I’m not going to miss work. As I told my friend Nolan yesterday, “I never feel more soulless than when I’m wearing my Chick-fil-a uniform”. He’s in the food service industry as well, and he agreed. There’s just something about the complete uniformity, lack of originality, rushed atmosphere of fast-food that just completely preturbs me. My least favorite part of my job is the business-y pressure to be perfect – to complete all my tasks quickly and perfectly. I beat myself up if I don’t do things perfectly. Yesterday I spilled some lemonade on myself. I couldn’t lift the heavy tea container up 2 feet to set in on top of the unsweetened container. I put ice in a no-ice lemonade and then filled it with lemonade. Twice. I made a shake that was too runny. It was just a bad day. My favorite part of my job is the customers – I love the families with the adorable children who stare shyly at me as I walk by, cleaning something. I love the old couples who come up to the register, arguing cutely about what they want to order and getting their free small fountain drinks. I just wish the good moments of my job outweighed the bad.

I keep getting really sad. I think it’s just because I’m PMSing…but I also think it’s a crazy psychological side effect of leaving home to go make a name for myself. My dad and I keep clashing. I think that’s because he’s going to miss me, even though he doesn’t admit it, and he has a coping mechanism to deal with it – being mean to me.

So I stopped at church randomly after work yesterday, just to see who was there. I sat down and started talking to Ryan Massey, my high school youth pastor, but within two seconds he got up and said he had to go to a meeting. OKAY RYAN. As I walked past the small theater, where the staff was gathering, Andrew Beal happened to look back and saw me. I started waving like a fool, you know, really enthusiastically and obnoxiously, just to be annoying…and he hollars, “GO TO CEDARVILLE!!”. I laughed really hard. I’ll miss Andrew. He’ll miss me too – he just doesn’t know it yet.

My mom got our entire family VIP tickets for Brandon Heath’s Blue Mountain tour in November at the Underground. I’m really excited to go. If you didn’t know, I had a ridiculously huge crush on Brandon Heath for about 3 years. I made him a bracelet made of parachord, I wrote a school paper about him, I doted on him on my freetime. I watched every Youtube video he was in. I just seriously fell in love. I’ve been to about 6 of his concerts and talked to him about 4 times. How I began this insane crush is a long story that I won’t detail now. The guy is 32, for Pete’s sake! I’m 18!!! AHHH!! Anyways, I got disillusioned with Brandon. I was almost angry with him, for a stupid reason, and I just stopped crushing on him and checking his website every week. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I look at him and his music in a very platonic way…although I think he looks pretty darn handsome on his new album cover:

Last night I hung out with my friend Timmy – which made me feel pretty bad, because my friend Mariah wanted me to sleep over, but I just didn’t feel like a sleepover. And I had work the next morning. So anyways. Timmy and I went to see the Avengers at Danberry. Timmy wanted to dress up…which is probably the most unusual idea ever suggested in regards to the Dollar Theater, but I’m a fan of looking classy as well, so I obliged. Timmy came in a sweater, a bow tie, skinny jeans, and Converse. He looked adorable. I felt incredibly underdressed in my plain brown shirt and skirt with flats. We proceeded to watch the Avengers, which neither of us had seen before (I KNOW…we don’t live under rocks, trust me). It was good, but not half as good at Batman. Batman has mystery, a killer plot, the feeling that Batman is going to lose the fight but he ends up winning all, ahhh…it’s just SOO good. The Avengers would be good if Batman didn’t exist. Once you’ve tasted the best the others taste bland. 😉

So Timmy…thank you for last night. I had an awesome time. And you make me feel really special all the time. Thanks for listening, giving great advice, and for showing me how I deserve to be treated. I am going to miss you so much.

with love,



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