Today is July 26th, the day of my dad’s birth. He’s 51 today. I don’t know if he wants me announcing that to the world via the Internet, but it’s the truth. At the end of the day, despite all the differences between my dad and I, I love that man – he is hardworking, supportive, and he truly believes in me. I think it’s awesome that I can tell him (the man who’s finanically invested in me) that I have this insane dream of working in the music business for a living…and he just goes with it. He truly believes I can do it. That trust means the world to me.
For his birthday we’re going out to eat at Outback. My whole family’s dressed up right now – when we dress up, we go overboard – meaning lots of cologne, dress shoes, and slicked back hair – (obviously the guys dress this way…not my mom and I, we’re more prudent).
On another note, my brothers also decided to randomly pick up 6 fish at the pet store today. Randomly. I don’t understand how they convinced me to let them go in. They told me they’d get one, maybe two, 15 cent goldfish for dad. I humored them. They come out with a bag full of six goldfish. So I took out my 10-gallon tank, the one I had retired from last summer (this felt like deja vu – last year around this time, our church’s youth group had a “Riot Night” themed “Under the Sea” in which they gave out feeder goldfish. My brother got 4. That night, I swore I wouldn’t let them die. I went crazy at the pet store, spending over $90 on supplies for the goldfish, including a 10-gallon tank with a filter and a light, food, aquarium cleaner, decorations, etc. After all my hard work, only one of the four fish ended up living. I named him “Spazz”, because of the way he swam back and forth rapidly around the tank, and he’s actually still alive to this day. He’s much bigger than he was last year – a good 3 1/2 inches as compared to the 2 inches of these feeder fish, and he’s healthy and robust, as robust as a fish in a tank can get. I downgraded Spazz to a 1-gallon tank, and he’s happy in there). When these six new fish arrived, I had to pull out my 10-gallon tank all over again. I filled it halfway full and now the fish are swimming contentedly around in the spacious tank. I haven’t named them yet – I don’t want to get attached…the sad reality is despite how hard I try to keep them alive, I’m guessing at least half of them will die, if not more. I don’t really know why I’m always overcome with compassion for marine creatures, but I am. I can’t stand to see them die. So I buy them $90 tanks.
If you’ve read my blog for a while, or if you know me in person, you’ll know I work at Chick-fil-a. There’s a ton of stuff (and by that I mean absolute poop) going around the media about Chick-fil-a, its owner, and its stance on the uber-popular gay marriage debate. At the risk of getting a bunch of rude comments in response to this post, I’m going to share my heart with you about this subject. First, let me get this clear.
I don’t think people should protest a company for the opinions of its leader. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. The chicken isn’t “anti-gay”, so your actions and rude words against Mr.Cathy are indirect and not really meaningful. When the protest takes place August 1st at my Chick-fil-a, I’m really going to feel any personal anguish when people are protesting the company that employs me. You’re not injuring anyone by protesting a company. Better idea – send a letter to Mr.Cathy, respectfully telling him how you feel. That’s what he was doing, right? Saying how he feels?
Let me share with you how I feel about this subject of gay marriage – that of it being legal. Up until fairly recently, I sided with the conservatives on this issue – that it should not be legalized. I had a really thought-provoking conversation with my very political friend (of the opposite party affiliation, as though it matters, my supreme authority is the Bible), and he shared with me that he believes his morals should not infringe on the absolute freedoms of all Americans. I thought that was a beautiful idea. I thought it was very biblical as well. I thought about how in Romans 1:24 it says ” Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.”. God GAVE THEM OVER. God let his human creations have free will to sin against him – to do intentionally harmful things to one another and themselves, seperatating themselves further from his love because why?? Because he loved them enough to give them free will. Do you see where I’m going with this? Yes, I believe gay marriage is morally wrong. I desire for creation to live in close companionship with the God who created it and sin gets in the way. I also believe that it is not my place, in a political system such as this, to impose my morals, derived from the Bible, on the American public. Just as God did, I am giving them over to the sinful desires of their hearts. If people want sin, they’re going to choose it whether it’s legal or not.
Also, how does it appear to non-Christian supporters of legalizing gay marriage for Christians to be extremely passionate about NOT passing this act? It must seem hateful and unloving. They don’t visualize Christians against the passage of this act as do-gooders attempting to drive sin out of the world, they view them as hateful people trying to impose their beliefs on the public and squash forms of love they don’t believe in. Please understand that I am speaking hypothetically, and not from my own voice. I myself don’t believe this, but others might. We need to be careful how we show our love.
And with that, I move on. My final section:
So many of you read my “Romantic Musings” post…where I rambled on about how I was feeling about relationships and romance at that moment. I can tell you today that things have changed slightly in my life.
I mentioned before that relationships scare me. That romance makes me want to turn and run.
What would you tell me if I told you I believed I was ready?
I guess every girl has a checklist in their mind of what a guy needs to have before they date. Guys and girls have to have an extensive amount of things in common for them to be an item. They just have to mesh. And there HAS to be chemistry, on top of all those similarites.
I guess I just wanted what every girl does. That feeling of falling and having no possible way to redeem myself. I got so lost in the idea of marriage that sometimes I skip the importance of dating. For a long time I used to believe dating for marriage was necessary. Now I’m starting to believe if you see something in someone, and you have a ton in common with them, why not date? It’s not dating for fun. It’s dating to find out more about a person – with the intention of putting a ring on it down the road.
I thought for a little while that love was within my fingertips. Like I could grasp it. Turns out that my so-called idea of “love” was a fleeting, fickle figment of my imagination. He didn’t see anything special in me. I was nice to be around for a little while. But why only hang out with one girl when you can hang out with several? It’s nothing serious.
This is the flaw with friendships on the borderline of romance. There’s always the equally terrifying possibility that the other person doesn’t see what you see – they don’t see the possibilities and don’t dare to dream. They see one-dimensionally.
Maybe this was how it was meant to be.