I’m Wide Awake

Yes, the title is a Katy Perry reference. I legitimately have that song stuck in my head – it has to be the only song of hers I’ve really liked since “Hot N’ Cold”. Tonight I spent a bunch of time reading her Wikipedia article because I find her fascinating. I think it’s the fact that she was a Christian recording artist and she switched over to making secular songs that most Christians would cringe at. Katy Perry’s a mystery to me. I was listening to her song “Trust Me”, which is one of the songs off her original album (the Christian one) and I was really impressed by her vocal ability (no surprise there). Above all, I just keep wondering what happened. What makes a girl go from being a songstress of praises to the King to a writer of music people are probably listening to while they do naughty things? Was it all an act? It’s none of my business and I’m not into gossip. I just wish I knew her heart.

Today I went to church. It was nice to be back at Southbrook after a two week break – (one week at Butler Springs, the next at Branden’s church). We’re in this series right now called “Traffic”. It’s all about human trafficking and pornography and things people really don’t like to talk about because they’re uncomfortable (though necessary) topics. We had a guy named Jake Larson speak today (from XXXchurch, an awesome church/ministry in Las Vegas dedicated to getting people free from the porn industry), and Jake earnestly called the church to be the ones to bring light to the darkest places. He brought up two members of our church who had recently traveled to Chicago to volunteer with XXXchurch’s booth at a porn convention. Literally, at a convention with dozens and dozens of tables set up with people selling porn, meeting porn stars and getting signed pictures, and pretty much just relishing the fact that porn exists, there is a table from this radical, awesome church. They set up huge signs advertising the fact that  “Jesus Loves Porn Stars”. The people at this table gave away stickers, Bibles, and basically hope itself to everyone they met. Every conversation they had with the people at this convention brought those trapped in darkness one step closer to the light.

Anyways, I really need to talk to God. I’ve been telling myself all day that I’ll sit down with my journal and write my heart out later, later, later…until it’s 2 in the morning and my priorities are still out of whack (I watched Sleepless in Seattle and researched Katy Perry for hours). So now it’s time to talk to my Savior.

If I can be completely real, I’m really confused by some stuff going on in my life. That confusion won’t go anywhere unless I talk to the one who holds my life in the palm of His hand.

all my love,



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