Today was a collison of opposing feelings for me. There were feelings of complete and total anguish when I realized I’m working a job I completely hate with everything in me, and there were feelings of elation upon getting to spend time with people I love dearly and buying a both cute and very hipster sweater.
Today at Chick-fil-a I literally walked around the parking lot sweeping leaves into my dustpan and throwing them away. It felt like 95 degrees outside, especially when you’re wearing Chick-fil-a’s signature black pants with interior facing back pockets. It was death. I tried to ring up a customer on register, only to find I didn’t know the menu whatsoever after a week off. I bumbled my way through my 3 hour (it felt more like 5) shift, making a complete fool of myself in every way. My co-workers must think I’m seriously the dumbest person alive. When I’m not asking what cup sizes we use to make small and large shakes for the 15th time, I’m asking where something is, because I have no idea. I know I’m really new and this is only my 6th day working, I just expect more from myself. In the workplace there’s really no time to take your time in learning. You’re just briefed briefly and thrown in to fend for yourself. I’m also getting really humbled by working at Chick-fil-a. Straight up, I look like I have no future as I walk around the restaurant, wiping off tables. The whole time I’m doing these tasks that are so boring my mind goes painfully numb, I’m daydreaming about my future. About moving to Nashville, and watching God’s plan for me fall together at long last. I’m dreaming about Cedarville and how I’ll be there in literally 30 days. I imagine myself as my own boss, in an environment where I feel less like a robot and more like myself.
Tonight I went to my second Comparative Religion class at Mariah’s church. These classes pretty much look like filling out a worksheet as the husband and wife teaching brief you up and down about what the religion is about – what its followers stand for, how they view the world, and most importantly, how they feel about Jesus. Tonight we focused on Islam. It kind of surprised me how much I already knew about it – how it’s a works-based religion, how they deeply respect yet don’t revere Jesus, and how Muslims are intensely faithful people. I just want Muslims to know the true Jesus. I want them to stop working so hard to earn their version of heaven – a paradise with virgins, supposedly – and just fall into the grace of Jesus Christ. I do have a deep respect for faithful Muslims, though. The teachings of The Qur’an are really similar to the teachings of the Bible – they’re just missing the all-important element of grace. Of redemption.
Mariah and I went to Plato’s Closet afterwards and I bought this awesome sweater and shirt in the picture below! I am so happy with it! I love its originality! Can’t wait to wear it at Cedarville in the fall 🙂
Oh yeah! I forgot to mention this incredible thing that just recently happened in my life. Let’s backtrack together to all my posts on Butler Springs. It’s the last day, Friday. As all the leaders were getting ready to leave Butler, after all the kids had left, one of the campers’ dad, Mr.Nemeth, walks up to me. Last year, my first year as a leader, I had helped calm his crying daughter as he was dropping her off. Basically, I just told her Butler Springs was going to be one of the best weeks of her entire life. I brought her to her cabin, introduced her to her leader, Sarah Grace, and reassured her that God knew what he was doing. She calmed down enough to stay, and eventually had one of the best weeks of her life. I believe she even got baptized! Her dad was so grateful to me for doing that – he was so sweet about it, sending me a card and smiling warmly everytime he saw me after that. So this Friday, he stops me and says, “Thank you for being a light everytime you come into our lives. We actually brought Jon and Marissa’s little cousin with down syndrome to Southbrook one weekend, about six weeks ago. You were singing in epic. You reached down and touched her hand. She didn’t stop talking about it, the whole car ride home. You made such a difference in her life.” Upon hearing this, my memory immediately took me back to that day. I had only reached out into the audience one time in my 5 or so times on the Epic stage, leading worship with Josh, and it had only been to grab one girl’s hand. I hadn’t realized what I was doing. I remember immediately afterwards feeling like it was a really pompous, arrogant thing to do. All the celebrities always do that when they’re on stage, it just works to bring attention to themselves and make more people want to touch them. Little did I know that Jesus was at work. I seriously got goosebumps. Even my most insignificant actions are utilized by the King.